Many Feel Affordable Care Act Needs New Name

Screenshot of HealthCare.gov homepage

It’s not just the GOP that takes issue with aspects of the Affordable Care Act. Many who are proponents of providing accessible care to everyone feel that one of the biggest problems is the name.

Folks in the lower-middle-class bracket are most irritated by this. They already make too much to get financial aid for post-secondary education, let alone any other kinds of financial assistance. Consequently, they are heavily burdened by paying for such things that continue to skyrocket in price, and now they will make too much to get assistance for something that’s labeled “affordable.” Very likely, they will soon be required to pay for more expensive coverage.

“Even if I get a raise, or find a better job, that will just push me into a higher tax bracket,” said Garry Schmidt, living in New Jersey and making too much to qualify for assistance. “They end up taking such a higher percentage out of my income, you’d think I’d suddenly been bumped up into the top two percent of earners. I can barely afford groceries each month.”

Mr Schmidt voted for Obama both times and mentioned that he sees a need for universal healthcare. Key Weekly asked for a response to his concerns from both a Democratic and a Republican representative of his state. Both brushed off his comments, but for very different reasons. The GOP answer, from House Republican Derrick Dickson, was simply that Mr. Schmidt should “quit the coffee shop and get a real job.” The answer from the Left was that Mr. Schmidt has a skewed perspective, and should understand that his taxes help those who are far worse off than him.

“Just because it’s called ‘affordable,’ doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be affordable for everyone. Obviously.” said House Democratic Ron Shecter.

Mr. Garry Schmidt promptly changed his voting registration to Independent. 

Study Claims Healthcare Isn't Actually Helpful

Photo by J. Troha, via Wikimedia

A recent study, funded primarily by members of the Tea Party, makes bold claims about the limitations of healthcare, in an effort to prove that universal coverage isn't necessary. Proponents of the Affordable Care Act, however, see this as a last-ditch effort to rally support against the Act.

The study reveals that health care has no effect on a person developing cancer, catching colds, or even breaking bones. It was also conclusively determined that a person will still eventually die at some point, regardless of any medical care received during their life. Organic, natural foods were included in the study as well, also being determined incapable of preventing death.

It didn't quite stop there, though. Exercise and good emotional health were also ruled out. The only thing that was acquiesced as a possible solution was investment in research either related to cryogenics or to human-to-computer consciousness transfer. It was recommended that wealthy individuals be allowed to retain as much of their fortunes as possible, so that they can fund and accelerate this research.