Study Claims Healthcare Isn't Actually Helpful

Photo by J. Troha, via Wikimedia

A recent study, funded primarily by members of the Tea Party, makes bold claims about the limitations of healthcare, in an effort to prove that universal coverage isn't necessary. Proponents of the Affordable Care Act, however, see this as a last-ditch effort to rally support against the Act.

The study reveals that health care has no effect on a person developing cancer, catching colds, or even breaking bones. It was also conclusively determined that a person will still eventually die at some point, regardless of any medical care received during their life. Organic, natural foods were included in the study as well, also being determined incapable of preventing death.

It didn't quite stop there, though. Exercise and good emotional health were also ruled out. The only thing that was acquiesced as a possible solution was investment in research either related to cryogenics or to human-to-computer consciousness transfer. It was recommended that wealthy individuals be allowed to retain as much of their fortunes as possible, so that they can fund and accelerate this research.