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| Photo by Joi Ito, via Wikimedia |
A man came to a press conference last week and professed that
he was, in fact, the true George Lucas, who was drugged, bound up, and sent off
to a slave labor facility in Southern India ,
where he’s been imprisoned for the last 15 years. A look-alike, selected by
some of his studio’s executives, was put in his place as the director of
Lucasfilm and all its affiliates. This coop, according to him, was the cause of the brash of
re-releases of the original Star Wars films and for the much lower-quality
prequels.
His friends and family immediately realized that he was,
indeed, the genuine item, due to the strange behavior of the imposter in the last
couple decades. Even things as simple as the over-abundance of computer
graphics work in the Star Wars prequels, considering Lucas’s original strong
aversion to them back in the ‘80’s when Pixar first pitched the concept to him.
He has filed a suit against those executives and the
look-alike. He was asked during the conference if he will sue to retake control
of Lucasfilm from Disney, but he pointed out that they aren’t the bad guys in
this case. He wasn’t sure if he would ask for any degree of creative control on
the upcoming Episode 7.
He expressed his deepest apologies for the low quality of
the Star Wars prequels, saying the distortion of his universe is unforgivable.
“The damage has been done, I know that. There’s nothing I
can do to erase the memories of Jar Jar Binks, or that pitiful excuse for an Indiana Jones film, but at least we can bring those
responsible to justice.”
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