An audit of unexplained funds floating around NASA has opened up an investigation that has turned the agency, and our understanding of the universe, upside down.
An IRS audit of three supervisors in charge of NASA’s Curiosity rover, which landed on Mars in August last year, has revealed disturbing information. They all claimed to have suddenly received large increases in their personal investment portfolios, in the form of gold bullion. They all entered similar values of gold on their 2013 taxes, the unusual coincidence alerting the IRS and prompting the investigation.
It took a few months of intensive research, but it was revealed the “gifts” were bribes to keep the evidence of Martian life secret. Even the gold was found to have most likely come from Mars, due to high concentrations of certain impurities in the metal.
“They just want to be left alone, that’s all,” said Doctor Ellison during an interview about the investigation. “They don’t mind us sending probes and someday even some people to do scientific investigations, but they’re not exactly keen on the idea of the masses knowing about their existence.”
IRS auditors are not convinced that the bribes came from extra-terrestrials, as the three NASA supervisors now all claim. “That’s a bit overly imaginative. In our line of work, ‘imaginative’ isn’t exactly a good thing.”
An IRS audit of three supervisors in charge of NASA’s Curiosity rover, which landed on Mars in August last year, has revealed disturbing information. They all claimed to have suddenly received large increases in their personal investment portfolios, in the form of gold bullion. They all entered similar values of gold on their 2013 taxes, the unusual coincidence alerting the IRS and prompting the investigation.
It took a few months of intensive research, but it was revealed the “gifts” were bribes to keep the evidence of Martian life secret. Even the gold was found to have most likely come from Mars, due to high concentrations of certain impurities in the metal.
“They just want to be left alone, that’s all,” said Doctor Ellison during an interview about the investigation. “They don’t mind us sending probes and someday even some people to do scientific investigations, but they’re not exactly keen on the idea of the masses knowing about their existence.”
IRS auditors are not convinced that the bribes came from extra-terrestrials, as the three NASA supervisors now all claim. “That’s a bit overly imaginative. In our line of work, ‘imaginative’ isn’t exactly a good thing.”
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