Kanye West a Puppet Created By JHCS

Photo by Diego Quintana, via Wikimeda

In emails recently leaked between executives at Universal Music Distribution, it was revealed that Kanye West is, in fact, not an actual person.

Referencing some statements made in the emails, KeyWeekly made a phone call to Jim Henson's Creature Shop to get more information. It turned out that what most people call Kanye West is actually a collection of advanced technological fabrications, each being purposed for different types of occasions and venues. Animatronic puppets, CG animations, and holographic projections, all designed and crafted by the same shop that created Kermit the Frog and Yoda, make up the public facade of a carefully planned project. 

Commissioned by Universal Music Distribution, the Kanye Project was an effort to get people to pay more attention to the Grammy Awards and pop music. Executives noticed that a growing percentage of the public saw the music industry, and the top awards show for such, as being a feedback loop of posturing and manufactured characters. The fear was that if something wasn't done, pop music would continue to lose relevance at a dangerous pace.

Example of the kind of mechanics making up the Kanye puppets. Photo by Roboteernat via Flickr.

"It was cheaper for them to hire us and put on this rouse than to actually start finding fresh, new talent in order to reinvigorate the pop music industry," said a master fabricator at Jim Henson's, who asked to remain anonymous after his phone interview with KeyWeekly.

Denial comments soon came from Kim Kardashian West, who is allegedly married to the "man." Her people spoke during a press meeting early this morning to refute the claims and condemn Jim Henson's Creature Shop for their statements. Instead of deflating the issue during the meeting, however, this mostly caused the question to rise over whether or not she may be a machine as well, especially considering the bizarre architecture of her physical frame and her lack of any actual skill sets or talents that would justify her high profile in the media. 

Kim Kardashian West's publicists refused to comment on that point.